The Time of My Life

It is the time...

2011-06-09T21:50:00.003+08:00

When the same thing happened few times, you should know what is coming next.

Today, i made a decision which i knew it will come someday. It is so hard to do it, but sometimes you just had to face the reality.

For me, I am with someone which the situation is no difference with single. I eat alone, meet friends alone, sleep alone, face the failures alone, happy alone and sad alone. Once in a while, the happiness will come but far less than enough.

Every time, you said you had difficulties to make the situation better but then i had heard it for about 2 and a half years. I try to understand but too bad i am not Jesus or Buddha who full with forgiveness and kindness. Since you are not gonna fix it, then i shall end it.

I had trusted you and believe in you, but you had let my hope fade away slowly within these 2 and a half year. It seems like you are the one who has problems instead of me have some problems within myself too.

I am sorry to say, yes, i am selfish...

Just like you said, it should be...

2011-03-24T01:01:00.004+08:00

Pay a visit to one of my friends house, which i had contributed for its cleanness, cozy and warm, make me feels like not going back my home.

After a short intro, we come to our topic, beer. Each person with a Tiger beer, chit chat with each other.

Suddenly a thought strike into my head, how long this situation can be last? Same time in next year, we might separated with everyone in different places, not having free time for chit chat session, social limitation or relationship limitation.

Plus the chatting is about past time, it stir my mind worse. Everyone is searching for each goals and directions but so far how many people had found it happily?

When it comes to relationship, i drop into deep thought again. Am i in a relationship? most of the time i am alone, what is the differences with single based on my current situation? it's been 2 years, kinda wondering is there anything which can help to continue on this road.

I had try to not think about it when comes to relationship, just let it be and I'll be fine. But the outcome is another way round. I like free and easy and yes, i am, but you are not. This make a different among us. You said you had a good time with me, but is it my good time also?Nope, i don't think so.

Just wanna say, i am kinda bored. When you think everything is comfortable and fine, actually it is not.

To a New World

2011-02-23T16:50:00.003+08:00

Ha...after 3 years, i re-activate my blog again.

This time my blog will be a little bit different as previous blog was written with the identity of student, now i am a working profession, here start the journey of my transformation from student to a working profession.

Sorry to my friends who read my first 2 blogs and found that i am quit this blog world suddenly, just that within past 3 years, i haven't realize the fun of blogging and i am quite enjoying to communicate verbally (that is why my nickname is "Bopet").

It's been a lots of drinking,smoking,playing and lepak-ing around last 3 years as i am a student, with the speed of light, time had make my life changes from free and easy to routine, kinda miss that time.

While growing in terms of psychically, the commitment of my also growing, such as study loan, phone bill, another half and transportation. Each of them is like making my shoulder getting heavier.

But "Life is hard, so that we know we are surviving".

Welcome to the world, Bopet aka Troy aka Khai Yeat.

Night Life Animal

2008-10-05T06:07:00.002+08:00

I just went back from Genting Highland aka Tour De Casino.
Everybody is tired and sleepy, except me...
Have a look in the casino is what we had done, just go and taste the situation of the casino.
I feels like wanna bet but luckily the ATM machine was out of service, and my pocket was left 40 ringgit.Maybe somebody will ask why i cant bet with RM40, but...my idea is i prefer lost one piece of RM50, better than lost four pieces of RM10.

I cant concentrate myself for the trip...
i keep thinking...my brain was turning and turning...just try to get a solution of what i was thinking.

In Genting, my brain-turning process was keep on changing, when every time i thought i get the best solution to make my mind peace, failure will come out after a while...the feeling was sucks.

I found that some people choose to run away or hide from a incident to prevent them from worst situation and try to make what their believe become true or as what they think.
They scare to become like "that" and also "this"...so they prevent themselves from "that" by don't want to do "this". But everything in this world is formed by "this" and "that"..
(what is "this" and "that"? They are anything in ur mind)

Just because "this" and "that", i use my brain on them and i hate to use brain, it makes me tired.
That is why i always look like get stoned, but actually i know what am i doing and what you are thinking.

so i had make a decision, to stop me from "this" and "that", this decision maybe will cause i regret for whole life, sad for whole life, spoil me for whole life but sometimes i need regret to remind that i am still alive and help me to build my complete life. Smoothly life will not cause you to remember what you had did in your life, but regret is something that let you think about it before one second you die. So i did the potential regret decision, maybe i will do it or maybe i will regret on my regret decision and change it.

According to my tradition, Alcohol can end everything, i always believe that and it is useful for me....and i did it tonight again...with a carlsberg.
it is tasty and nice, i am not addicted to beer but i addicted to the feeling of drunk, free your mind and a little bit unbalance that cause by alcohol. And finally i can get a peaceful sleep in this morning 6.32 am after i finish this blog.

A dumb, boring starting..

2008-09-24T11:28:00.001+08:00

I dunno what i wan to write this blog,

this is not a blog,

this is an introduction,

it seems like everybody around me is start to write a blog, so i also follow the trend la...

There is another one semester to finish the advanced diploma, the feeling is complicated,

the time had pass through too fast.

Sucks and good lecturers, nice and caring classmates had made all the time pass through faster than what i thought.

Always try to stand aside and look at the people around me, use my ideology to interpret them or use their own ideology to interpret them. This is what think before this year, I put myself as the middle of the world, after i try something new this year which is interpret myself with my own ideology and other people's ideology.

Conclusion, we are living in a movie world, every thing can be so dramatic, appear as a climax and end without knowing by anybody.

Get yourself awake, drunk, paralyze, conscious, free, relax, nervous, helpless...

different situation cause some changes of a person, they might be learn something or maybe lost something.

Some people say that i had change, change to be more positive, but who know the scene behind this changes?

maybe i hit by a car and lost my own attitude?

maybe i slap by god and He ask me to be more like a human?

maybe i swim in the deep sea and suddenly a fish told me :"hey Bopet, can you dun be so sohai?"

Anything might be happen on me now unless quit smoking which is quite impossible for me now..

Quit smoking mean i lost my rely on life target...i think this is the reason why addictive stuffs appear in this world, when you feels like wanna run away from reality world, it gives you a moment of separation from your body and soul. Somebody say it even let you get close with the own god that stay in the heart of everybody.

That is all my starting la.. if disagree with me, go kill yourself la..

i said already what, this is MY starting..

Make Love No War.